Married women and the imperative of HIV test

On 16/Mar/2019 / In Articles

Many married women in Nigeria need to start going for HIV tests. This is not the time to be ignorant about your HIV status especially if you are married to a chronic cheat or what we call community penis on social media.
 
Even if your husband behaves like an angel, talks like a saint, provides for you and your children, gives you money all the time, says all the right things, speaks in tongues while praying and cries while worshipping God, go for HIV tests to avoid stories that touch.
 
I have heard stories about women who thought they were married to saints but got the rude shock of their lives when their husbands infected them with sexually transmitted diseases. It is heartbreaking to discover you have been fooled for years.
 
Last week, I read four different stories of women who didn’t know their husbands were HIV positive and these men continued to have unprotected sex with their wives until they infected them too. The sad part was that these men knew they were HIV positive.
 
It is sad that some married women want to remain ignorant about the extra marital activities of their philandering husbands without thinking about how the actions of these irresponsible men will hurt them. They keep telling themselves that it is not their portion.
 
It is sad that women have refused to take the bull by the horns and take charge of their sexual well being. I pity women who always say ‘what you don’t know won’t kill you’ whenever the issue of cheating husbands are raised.
 
These women chastise other women for going through their husband’s phones whenever they feel their men are stepping out. They remind other married women that it is in men’s DNA to cheat and that as long as these men are taking care of their financial responsibilities, these women should stop fighting their philandering husbands over who they are having sex with outside their marriages.
 
What you don’t know will kill you quicker than HIV/AIDS because you have refused to take responsibility for your life and sexual health. You ignore the fact that deadly sexually transmitted infections and diseases can kill you. You ignore the fact that HIV doesn’t show on anybody’s face.
 
I heard the heartbreaking story of a woman who married her husband a virgin at 18. She gave birth to two children. She was happy with her husband and devoted her time and efforts in making sure her marriage was heaven on earth. She also trusted her husband with her life and didn’t have reasons to suspect he was having multiple affairs and unprotected sex with strangers.
 
Many years later, she became very sick. Husband man knew he was HIV positive and had been treating himself secretly but refused to tell his loving, trusting and almost naive wife that there was fire on the mountain. He kept playing the role of a good, caring and dutiful husband while his wife emaciated from this disease ravaging her body.
 
It was when it became full blown AIDS that he confessed his sins to his sick wife but it was too late for the poor woman. She died a few months later after cursing him with everything you could think of in this world. She died heartbroken. She kept asking him what she did wrong for him to have treated her the way he did.
 
That was how this heartless man rendered his children motherless because he couldn’t keep his penis in his pants. He killed his wife and moved on as if nothing happened. Months later, people were telling him that he had the right to move on with his life and that it was wrong for a man with children to be alone.
 
It is annoying that some people didn’t see anything wrong with what this wicked man did to another person’s daughter. If it were a woman who led her unsuspecting husband to his death, people would have called for her head. They would have called her names.
 
A nurse told me recently that the number of married men who come to the clinic where she works to do HIV tests and the ones who tested positive is alarming. These men quietly look out for themselves while their wives are burying their heads in the sand praying meaningless prayers for their cheating husbands.
 
This nurse stated that the sad part of this trend was that these men refuse to come back to the hospital with their wives so that these women can get tested too. She said that when you tell them to bring their wives for the same test, they just disappear or move to another hospital.
 
Dear married Nigerian women, stop pleading the blood of Jesus before having unprotected sex with your community penis husbands. It won’t prevent HIV. Go and get tested and start taking responsibility for your lives. Protect yourselves from sexually transmitted diseases if you want to remain married to such men.
 
Women, stop leaving your lives at the hands of wicked, heartless and irresponsible men who don’t care about you. Rise up and do something about your sexual health. Take charge of your body and health. Stop living in ignorance, it kills. What you don’t know will kill you, stop kidding yourselves.
 
Dear woman, stop leaving your sexual health to chance especially if you know a hundred percent that you are married to a community penis. Protect your life. You have just one life to live, don’t throw it away on the altar of marriage to an irresponsible man. Stop playing with your life.
 
May your children not mourn over you! May you not pay for the sins and irresponsibility of another person just because you had the misfortune of marrying someone who doesn’t care about your life! May you not die for something you know nothing about!
 
Go for HIV test today and know your status. You don’t know what your husband may be hiding. Insist on protection if your husband is a serial cheat. Don’t listen to people who keep telling you to keep praying for your husband to change with the kind of danger you are in. May he not change after he has infected you with HIV!
 
While cheating is a deal breaker to some women, others don’t care about living and having unprotected sex with their philandering husbands without thinking about the repercussions of these men’s irresponsible behaviour.
 
Don’t get me wrong, marriage is good, but not at the expense of your life and well-being. It is sad that many people make cheating look like no big deal but lives are being ruined all the time by cheating. Even religious people make excuses for cheats instead of condemning the act especially if husbands are the ones guilty of this sin.
 
People who keep telling women to fight for their marriages when it is clear that they are married to unrepentant cheats are wicked people. These same people won’t tell husbands to fight for their marriages when their wives cheat. Such double standards irk me.
 
A marriage where you deal with a cheating spouse, monitor his movements, go through his phone to find out who is having sex with, call the other lady to threaten her to leave your husband alone and treat sexually transmitted diseases all the time is no marriage. You are doing community service with other women.
 
It is not by force to get married. If you cannot be committed to one person, then stay single. Don’t kill another person’s child with your irresponsible behaviour or make them pay for your sins. That’s wickedness.
 
Women, check your HIV status today. You may find out what will shock you. Your life matters. You need to be alive to be married. Look out for yourself.

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